Illegal
by pinkperson
Summary: Ryuko runs into Nui at a coffee shop and the two girls have a heated exchange.


It was a busy day at the local coffee shop and Ryuko couldn't help but feel grateful for the sounds of people talking all around her. She had come just to grab a quick drink before meeting up with Mako at her house. Ryuko smiled at the barista as she handed her her iced matcha latte. After thanking her, she turned to sit at the nearest table when her heart froze. She nearly choked on her own breath as she recognized the blonde coiled pigtails and pink dress.

"Nui..." Ryuko breathed, feeling her heart beginning to pound.

The girl had her back to her, sitting at a table facing the window. Ryuko hadn't seen Nui in a long time. The last time she saw her was when she'd sliced off her arms. Even after exacting her revenge she was still occasionally haunted by the girl in her dreams. The high pitched almost melodic giggle would enrage her to the extent that she'd often wake up in a cold sweat.

And now she had crossed paths with her again.

Ryuko trembled as she approached Nui almost as though she were on autopilot. She tapped her on the shoulder making the girl turn around quickly, eyes wide as saucers upon recognizing her.

"What the...what-what-what do you want?" Nui sputtered, eyes darting around anxiously.

Ryuko sat on the stool next to Nui as she smiled grimly. "Was just getting a drink. Is that illegal or something?"

"No that's not illegal. But talking to me should be," Nui ground out. "We're not exactly buddy-buddy are we? Where's that stupid Mako chick? Why don't you talk to her instead?"

Ryuko glared at Nui. "She isn't stupid. And I just felt like going out on my own. Is _that_ illegal?"

Nui rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Ryuko turned away from Nui then as she looked outside at the people walking by. She needed to calm herself down otherwise she'd be tempted to make a scene in front of people. The two girls sat in silence for a little while. Ryuko appreciated moments of silence now that everything was over. She often liked sitting at this particular coffee shop and just watching people around her. She wasn't so sure if she'd want to come back anytime soon, though, if it meant she might be tempted to interact with Nui again.

"It's so weird just sitting in a coffee shop like this," Ryuko murmured.

"Mmm," Nui said absently. "Pretty much everything is weird now that it's all over. Just seeing you in street clothes without that scissor blade is weird."

"So do you have a job or something?" Ryuko asked, trying to sound casual.

Nui leaned back and groaned hoarsely, making Ryuko cringe. "Are you kidding me?" she snapped, shooting Ryuko a glare. "What kind of stupid question is that?"

"I'll take that as a no," Ryuko muttered, suppressing a smile. She couldn't deny that she'd mostly been curious just to know how bad Nui was doing now. She couldn't help but feel some glee in knowing that Nui probably had difficulty simply carrying her cup over to the table. She still felt butterflies in her stomach every time she thought of the difficulty the bitch must now have just functioning.

"Let me guess. You want to tell me about whatever dumb job you have right now, right?"

"I honestly don't care either way," Ryuko lied, relishing that she was getting on Nui's nerves. It was nice to not be the one getting worked up and pissed off for a change. And she couldn't help but feel victorious knowing that Nui was afraid of her now. Just seeing Ryuko had made her eyes dart around searching for the nearest exit.

And man, did that feel good.

"You _wouldn't_ care, would you?"

Ryuko had to suppress an eye roll at the implication behind Nui's words. God, the girl was just as annoying as she remembered if not more so. "Yup, I'm definitely the bad guy..." she said, mostly to herself. Then without thinking she spoke again. "So why do you dress like that anyway?"

"Like what?"

"Like with that big-ass pink bow and the whole getup. You know what I mean."

"Because I like it?" Nui said. "Do you want to pick out my wardrobe or something?"

Ryuko chuckled at this, shaking her head. Truthfully she wasn't sure why she was asking her this. She had no idea why she was trying to hold any sort of conversation with Nui. Maybe a screw had gone loose in her head the moment that she decided to approach the girl.

"I like the color pink. And I like dresses. And I like bows." Nui spoke in clipped tones as though she were talking to an idiot. "And it's not like you have a right to pick on someone for their style, Ryuko. You fought me in the ugliest lingerie ever, if I remember correctly. I can't believe you had the balls to wear that crap in public, honestly."

Ryuko blushed at this. She still felt some embarrassment whenever she thought back to the outfit she was forced to fight in. It was bizarre having to battle it out while her ass cheeks were practically in plain view in an arena. "It was just a question."

"Right."

Ryuko ground her teeth together as she fought to keep her cool. She was beginning to get annoyed by Nui's curt responses and attitude. She was acting like she was being inconvenienced when she should be grateful that a human being actually tolerated her enough to even try to interact with her.

"Was cutting off my arms not enough?" Nui barked out suddenly. "You want to chop my head off too?"

Ryuko almost laughed at the thought. Hell yes she wouldn't mind chopping the demon's head off and having it served to herself on a plate. Not even bothering to hide the smirk on her face she said, "What's the matter Nui? You were always so chipper and laughing at everything. And now you're a mean old grouch. I mean they're just _arms_. Clearly you're doing well without them. So what's the problem?"

Ryuko could practically feel the rage in Nui's eyes that bore into her own. The two girls hated each other to the core of their being and anyone who was in their vicinity could have seen it at that moment.

Nui whipped her head away and leaned down to take a sip from her drink. Ryuko watched as the girl drank almost expertly, by lifting the cup with her mouth.

After lowering the cup, Nui spoke again, her voice shaky and low. "So is that what you're here for? To mock me? You're here so you can gloat about how you fucked up my life? Is that what you want Ryuko? I _get_ it," She snarled. "I killed your dad. I got on your bad side. And even after doing what you did you still hate my guts. Do you want me to beg you for forgiveness or something? What do you want?"

Ryuko pursed her lips as she watched Nui. The girl had bags under her pretty eyes. She wasn't wearing makeup or jewelry like she normally did. Her face was pale and sickly looking. Her hair also looked as though it hadn't been brushed. She wondered vaguely who it was that had put it in pigtails. To be honest, she wasn't sure what it was she wanted from the demon. She sure as hell didn't care about an apology at this point, no matter how sincere it may be.

"I'm not gonna force you to grovel. It's not like it'll do any good anyway. What's done is done, isn't it?"

"Such wise words," Nui said, each word dripping with sarcasm. "And so easy for _you_ to say."

Ryuko chose to ignore the jab as she took a sip from her drink. Then, looking at Nui again, she spoke. "Honestly, I don't know what I want. Even after what I did to you I don't feel true fulfillment. I still feel empty inside. I don't know how to feel whole again. This entire experience has been a nightmare. A horrific nightmare that I just couldn't wake up from. And now that it's over I feel numb. Like I'm...like I'm dead inside."

Ryuko's chest clenched as she felt relief in simply saying all of this, even if she was talking to Nui of all people. The horrors that she'd been through in order to exact her revenge had left her feeling traumatized. It still felt weird to go out to places like cafes and act like a normal human being. To even dress like a normal human being. To not be on a mission to mangle and annihilate anything in her path. Sometimes she thought about stabbing and slicing people up as though she was thinking about the weather. It was unreal.

"You're not the only one who feels like that," Nui said a bit grudgingly. "I get depressed sometimes, just thinking about what went down between us."

Ryuko blinked at this. "Depressed?"

"I mean, do you have any idea what it's like to go out places without arms? People stare at me all the time...like I'm some kind of circus freak or something. Or they just look at me with pity in their eyes. Kids point at me and ask their parents what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm barely even _human_, Ryuko."

"Huh."

"It's horrible, Ryuko," Nui whined, her lower lip wobbling. "You have no idea."

"You're seriously doing this right now?" Ryuko pinched the bridge of her nose, scrunching her face up in disgust. She wasn't sure how much more whining she could take. The girl was absurdity in its purest form.

"I'm not stupid," Nui continued. "I get that I'm, you know, a murderer. I know what I did was wrong. But I just don't think anyone deserves this kind of pain. I mean, do you have any idea what kind of agony I was in after the initial shock wore off? I wanted to die a thousand times over."

"And yet you're _alive_," Ryuko spat out suddenly, slamming a fist on the table. She didn't care that she could feel customers' eyes watching them. She was beginning to tremble with fury as she fought the urge to choke the girl right there in front of everyone. She couldn't accept this kind of attitude from Nui. Deep down, the moment that she'd decided to cut her arms off, she'd hoped that she would break the girl. Make her lose that sparkle in her eye. Make her lose that cockiness and spring in her step once and for all. Having to endure listening to Nui moan to her about her problems made her want to lose her lunch on the spot. "Of all people, you are the last one to have a right to complain. You took a _life_, Nui. And then you laughed in my face like my grief was some kind of joke. Do you not get how twisted that is? What's wrong with you?"

Nui laughed shrilly. "What's wrong with me? I spill my guts to you...literally...and you say there's something wrong with me. I feel like I'm in _hell_, Ryuko. I can't even hold a cup of coffee for God's sake."

"You don't know what hell is," Ryuko muttered, her face hardening. She had to bite her lip to keep from lashing out verbally. What did Nui expect from her? Sympathy? Compassion? Kindness? Whatever it was, she wasn't going to get it. Despite being armless she was still alive and kicking. In a way, Ryuko felt like she'd been kind to her. She'd gotten off easy considering the way that she'd mocked her. She'd laughed at her. She'd gloated about killing her dad like she'd won some sort of trophy in doing so. In the end, it didn't matter if she felt regret at all because she was still evil.

And evil never truly dies.

Ryuko rose from her seat so quickly she almost knocked it over. She could practically feel bile rising up her throat just from having to converse with Nui even if it was only for a few minutes. Looking at her dressed up like a lolita as they talked about this shit was like some sort of sick joke. She truly hated the way she presented herself, the way she dolled herself up as though she could make up for what she was on the inside. Disgusting, vile, putrid…

Pure evil.

"Well, it was _so_ nice chatting with you, but I think I'm gonna go," Ryuko said, snatching her drink, eager to get away from Nui. She had to suppress a shudder, feeling overexposed to someone who made her feel dirty all over. Someone whose narcissism chilled her to the bone. If she sat there any longer she might just puke up the few sips of her drink that she'd had.

Nui nodded absently at Ryuko as they both looked at each other for a few seconds.

For the briefest moment, Ryuko was tempted to just dump the contents of her drink on top of Nui's pretty little head. Despite the fact that the girl had exposed herself, telling Ryuko about the pain that she was enduring on a daily basis, it just didn't feel like enough. In fact, it felt like nothing would ever be enough. And that's why Ryuko chose to turn her back on Nui and walk out of the cafe.

As Ryuko stepped outside, she threw her cup on the ground not caring about littering. Walking briskly towards Mako's house, her lower lip began to tremble as hot tears spilled down her face. She had put on a tough act as she'd talked to Nui, but now she felt as though her heart had split in two due to the encounter. Being reminded of her dad's murder in any way still gutted her and tore her up inside.

She hated Nui so much. _So_ much. She couldn't stand thinking about her, much less actually seeing her in person. Ryuko hated bullies. She'd been bullied growing up and when she was younger she wasn't as tough as she was now. She didn't stand up to them. Instead she'd been meek and allowed them to pick on her and make a laughingstock out of her in public. Over time it made her grow into a bitter and vengeful person who could no longer take that type of shit.

And Nui was the biggest bully of all. She was someone who felt no compassion for someone whose father was cruelly ripped away from her. Ripped away and then crapped on like his existence was meaningless.

So cruel…

Ryuko walked quickly with her head lowered as she cried, a part of her hoping no one noticed her tears while another part of her just didn't care.

She hoped that Mako would be in a good mood so that she could feel better in her presence. Her friend always knew how to make the blues go away. She was so upbeat and dependable. A kind person with a heart of gold, despite how annoying she could be at times.

_If only more people were like Mako_, Ryuko mused.

As she got to Mako's house, her tears had subsided and Ryuko felt a bit better. She inhaled deeply preparing herself to go inside and be greeted by Mako's energetic presence. She wasn't going to talk about Nui and the past. She didn't want to feel like seeing Nui had gotten to her to that extent. She just wanted to hang out and eat some takoyaki and maybe watch some anime or a movie.

To do normal things like a normal person.

Ryuko felt a bit better as she walked up to the door and knocked. To be a normal person...that was what she truly wanted. Sure battling it out like she had in the past was cool and all but nothing could soothe the ache in her heart like simply hanging out with a friend and talking about stupid stuff. In a way, maybe that was what she truly needed in order to find that fulfillment she so desired. Exacting revenge was nice, but to simply relax without a care in the world felt so much nicer. Defeating bullies tasted sweet, but laughing and joking with someone she cared about was so much sweeter.

Once the door opened and she was greeted by Mako, Ryuko felt her spirits lift as she smiled brokenly, almost sincerely at her friend. It would take time to heal all the wounds, but slowly and surely they were being tended to and mended.

And for now that was enough.


End file.
